This week I had the opportunity and the pleasure to interview a very dear friend of mine who is also very well-known and respected in the adult industry. It was a very interesting interview as even though we have worked together as webcam partners and also at my lifestyle events, I learned so much I did not know about him as a person.
So as I sat deciding what this week’s blog was going to be about, I began to really sit back and realize how well do we actually know our co-workers, our friends, and even our family.
I had no idea how Dick Chibbles had gotten involved in the adult industry and how late in life he had chosen to make this decision. I also had no idea of his crazy experiences until I read his book. What surprised me most was what a talented writer he is.
I also was under the impression he had met his wife Daisy in the Adult Industry, but this was incorrect. He began to explain to me how it was difficult in his relationship with Daisy. The strange feeling the significant other feels when the one involved in the Adult Industry goes to set and has sex with different talent only to come back home to the one they love.
Dick ended up ultimately making Daisy his wife and they are still together today, but this got me thinking if I would ever find someone. How was I going to give my heart to someone and have them love me if I did not even love myself? How was I going to be truthful to someone when I was not being truthful to me.
Up until this point in my career, I had had the occasional boyfriend but the jealousy was too much. Would I ever find someone who loved me for me and appreciated the good quality person I am? Would I always be judged for being a Porn Star? A Swinger club owner and scrutinized for working as a prostitute in a legal brothel.
When my father became aware of my involvement in the Adult Industry, our relationship was strained for quite some time, however, as the years passed, I felt as though he had accepted my choices.
I had told him back in June 2020 on an innocent phone call where he was checking up on me with the Pandemic, that I was doing ok and was getting ready to publish my book. He just laughed and said that’s funny. I was hurt, but again, I did not want to rock the boat so I did not address it any further.
I published my book on June 15th, 2020, and on March 28th for my mother’s 70th birthday, I gave her a copy of my book. Though she was shocked to read some of the experiences that I have had in the adult industry, working in a brothel and running a swingers club she still contacted me, told me she loves me unconditionally, and I will always be her “Yayee”.
My father on the other hand, recently contacted me to let me know that he had read my book and was not willing to discuss the situation with me further at that time. He wanted to seek out guidance from a therapist before talking to me.
So as I sit here writing this blog entry, my father, to who I dedicated my book too has not contacted me to discuss the issue at hand. Although my book is dedicated to my dad, the one person in my life who I have always tried to live up to his expectations, he is not willing to accept the choices I have made.
I have finally reached a place in my life where I don’t have to keep my choices a secret. My children know, my family knows, my friends know and my swinger lifestyle community all know, how my career developed and where I am taking it.
My goal is to help other adult performers or couples who are struggling with choosing a different path. They desire to come clean and be accepted by their loved ones, regardless of the choices they have made. Although they may not be choosing to live the conventional path that they were raised to follow, we live in a different world today and one should not feel guilty about choosing a different career or alternative relationship option.
This interview with my friend Dick made me have an overabundant amount of respect for Daisy, who, stuck by the man she loved regardless of his career path and saw past the job of working in the Adult Industry.
I can only hope one day, my own father will understand why I made these choices in my career and the good that has come from it. The experiences I have had, and the lessons I have learned. I have no regrets, but I do want my dad back. I am hoping he will see how I have taken my experiences in this alternative lifestyle and I am turning them into a good thing by making a difference in others who are feeling ashamed about fetishes or fantasies they may have. Someone who feels embarrassed or guilty for their sexual desires or different needs from what is considered “The Norm”.
I am making it my goal to let others know you are not alone and you are not crazy or “a weirdo” for having thoughts of an alternative relationship style. You do not need to be ashamed of choosing a career path that may not be acceptable to some. You have only one life to live and you must start living it for yourself.
It has taken me many years to accept myself and the path I chose. It was eating a hole in my heart hiding who I was as a woman. I have finally reached my career goals as a published International best-selling author, a successful podcast host, a blogger, a Swing Club owner, and a lifestyle coach and motivational speaker. I am living my life finally for me with no more secrets or regrets. No one knows what tomorrow will bring and even if there will be a tomorrow, so live for yourself today and love your loved ones unconditionally.
Till next time
With love, Coralyn Jewel