More than ever since Covid, there has been a significant increase in people choosing to work from home as webcam performers and or setting up various membership fan-based online accounts to sell content. As most of us are aware, this came from the lock-down worldwide, where many were stuck home and seeking other ways to make a living and or occupy their time.
It has always been the assumption you have to be a model and actor/actress to have an online presence and attract a fan base, but that is not the case at all. In fact, the saying, everyone has a different cup of tea is very true in the adult industry as well. This saying stands true for my Swinger community members. In the past, I have been approached and told if I was more selective with my members I would have younger “prettier” members. Does younger and prettier mean that is what everyone desires? Does everyone want a Barbie and a Ken?
I wholeheartedly disagree with this assumption. Everyone is attracted to what they like. Maybe a certain hair color, eye color, tall, curvy, dark skin, light skin, so why pick a community based on just one appearance? The same goes with the adult industry, webcam performers, models, and content creators.
My guest on my podcast this week is why I decided to have this as the subject of my blog entry. She entered the industry later in life as did I, and she originally felt that no one would be interested in watching her cam or hire her to shoot as a porn performer, but she was proven wrong.
I really became intrigued when she shared with me in our initial email conversation that her shows are based on her scripts. She has over 30 characters she plays, my favorite was her teacher character. I do not want to give it away, as if you tune in to our interview on The Hankie Pankie Podcast, she will share her reasonings behind her brilliant marketing technique.
I have actually noticed that members of my Swinger club community who started a fan-based membership page during the pandemic and have more followers and fans than I do, even though I am the one with experience. Anyone can enter a webcam chat room and no matter what it is are you are attracted to, you can now find exactly what you are looking for. Small breasts, large breasts, performers with tattoos, performers with shaved heads, it does not matter.
To work in the adult industry or any career field and be successful is the willingness to listen and learn. We all make mistakes, but own them and take something away from that experience to improve. Talk to others in the field, watch other performers and even join their membership pages. Do not copy, but instead let your experience open up a creative side of you to develop your own niche and your own marketing and branding technique that works for you.
Prior to embarking on a career in the Adult Industry, it was normal to hear the advice from others, “If you choose to do porn, it will affect your future forever.” I knew when I made the choice at the age of 35 to take my career in the direction of working in front of the camera instead of behind the scenes, that I was taking a chance that a career in porn could affect any future careers I might have chosen to embark on down the line.
Now, everyone is different, and we are all entitled to make our own decisions. I have no regrets about my choice to be an adult performer. If you follow my story, I believe the curve balls life threw me guided my career down this path and ultimately placed me where I was destined to be as an educator, guide, and motivational coach.
Recently, I had a guest on my podcast and her story made headline news when claims regarding losing her job due to her previous work in porn caused many to go into an uproar. Now, my article today is not on the facts of her situation and if her story is valid or invalid, nor do I really think that is the focus anyway. I prefer to focus that regardless of her situation and if others believe or disregard her story, it is a given truth that there is still judgment on the adult industry. Once you place a video or adult image on the Internet, it is out there for good and the question remains not, “Will it impact my future” but, “how will it impact my future?”.
In my career as a guide, lifestyle coach, and speaker, I am often approached by someone who is interested in possibly pursuing a career in the adult industry. I am not here to encourage or discourage, instead, I feel that I can share my experiences and my knowledge and let them make their own decisions based on my guidance.
The number one thing I always emphasize is that they must know that once you put it out there, a photo, a video, a webcam show, even just once, there is a good chance it will remain on the Internet. So, you must be emotionally and intellectually prepared for the reactions you may receive. Some may call this, “repercussions”, however, that depends on how you view the industry and how you view yourself.
One of the most influential seminars I host is, “Be true to yourself”. I run a variety of businesses and constantly hear the same questions from friends, family, and clients. “What if you wedding couples find out you run a swingers club” or, “What if the daycares you teach fitness classes at, find out you were a porn performer”. My answer was, “well, then it is their choice if they want to still work with me”.
As a businesswoman, an International Best-Selling Author, Motivational Speaker, Lifestyle Coach, Podcast host, wedding planner, Swing Club owner, and Children’s fitness trainer, comes along the experience from my past as an Olympic figure skating hopeful, a theatrical degree, production assistant, camera operator, porn performer, porn producer, porn director, stripper and escort which gives me the ability to help guide others based on my past. Does my career in porn make me a bad person? Did I commit any crimes? I am so tired of the judgment from others regarding the Adult Industry that I have made it a goal to help break some of the misconceptions.
Again, I only speak from my own personal experience, but I can without a doubt say that I have experienced more betrayal, lack of morals and trust in my career in figure skating, the wedding industry, and even with other lifestyle Swinger clubs than I have ever experienced being involved in the adult industry.
My relationships with performers, behind-the-scenes crew, photographers, journalists, and B2B industry friends, remain in my memory as some of the most amazing friendships I have created in my 44 years of life. Only one time has someone done me wrong and this was in the early stages of my career when I lacked the guidance to make the right decisions.
So, back to the point of this article, if you choose to take a chance at a career in the adult industry, be ready for the ignorant people who will remain closed-minded and critical to your choice. Be confident in your decision and listen to the guidance of others to stay on track and make the right choices. Do not let distractions take you off course and be ready for your adult career to shadow you forever, but ashamed you should not be! Be strong, be proud, be you, and the words I live by, “be true to you” will guide you to the path you are destined for.
The ignorant, the critical, the closed-minded, and the intransigent will forever be on this planet. Let them be them and let you be you. We all have a right to believe what we want, have our own opinions, however, if someone’s choice does not affect you directly and is not harming others then the saying goes, “Mind your own business”. As far as I still know, we live in America where you have the Constitutional right to “Freedom of Choice”, “Freedom of Expression” and, “Freedom of Speech”.
It is time to live your life for you, as you only have one life to live and it is yours to do with it as you wish.